Beautiful

My hair is not long, in fact, its as short as short can be,
my eyes are not blue, they are brown, but they feel the deepest of blue somedays,
though im not really sad, mostly quite chipper,after morning caffeine, goes without saying...
not overly tall, average i'd say,
but my head can over see mountaines some days,
not over weight, but the emotions I carry could surely tip a scale,
somedays I go out and heads will turn, but in my mind,
I fear their eyes I mostly burn,
lack of self confidence only hits me sometimes
but if you want fears, I have plenty!
I have clevage, but not in the way you think,
its hy heart strapped on the outside of my chest,
and not knowing what the whole world thinks,
my husband thinks Im beautiful, even says im hot,
but my warped way of thinking, I say,
"its just part of your sexual plot"
but I know he loves me, not knowing why?
Ive sometimes been mistreated, even as a girl,
and often misunderstood, Ive never had the love I understood
I have witts and smarts to most unknown,
I don't sit and judge , its just how I make it around,
I will force for you a smile, even if its not real,
as quick as you blink, I can turn it into a frown
prettty I would say not, its not me,
I would love to tell that girl she's beautiful, we all have our turn,
that girl who is me,
but would she believe me, I don't know,
we all have our insecurities I guess
Ive just showed you mine,
my biggest fear is not just growing old,
but growing old without my boy by myside,
we all have doubts and fears we hide,
I just took you to my secret place,
of me, inside